the thing is, i’m not looking for people to mindlessly force themselves to call me ‘he’ in order to avoid making me uncomfortable. if comfort was my goal, i could probably have found a smoother path than the one i’m on, right? i haven’t chosen this word ‘he’ because it means something true to me, or it feels all homey and delicious. no pronoun feels personal to me. i’ve chosen it because the act of saying it, of looking at the body i’m in and the way that my gender has been identified since birth and then calling me ‘he,’ disrupts oppressive processes that fix everyone’s gender as ‘real,’ immutable, and determinative of your station in life. i’m not hoping that people will see that i’m different, paste a fake smile on their faces and force themselves to say some word about me with no thought process. i’m hoping that they will feel implicated, that it will make them think about the realness of everyone’s gender, that it will make them feel more like they can do whatever they want with their gender, or at least cause a pause where one normally would not exist. quite likely, this will be uncomfortable for all of us, but i believe that becoming uncomfortable with the oppressive system of rigid gender assignment is a great step toward undoing it.

dean spade on pronouns in “once more… with feeling.” (via accumulatedephemera)

…I may or may not have a printed copy of this quote in my wallet. To be sure, having preferred pronouns is not only an adventure in political disruption for me, like sometimes words do feel like “home,” and it’s really hard to articulate why or how, but at the same time words do have a power to unsettle and that can be politically useful or at least something else to think/talk about when I ask people to use certain words.

(via oxxenfree)

  1. thiscouldbeacity reblogged this from queerfemmepolitik
  2. uss-special reblogged this from pinebark and added:
    This is not only very relevant to what I am striving for with my own pronoun usage but also to the reading I’ve been...
  3. queerfemmepolitik reblogged this from femmefilth
  4. feznstetson reblogged this from peayeahknow
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  8. textovernebula reblogged this from eddiesuave and added:
    accumulatedephemera)
  9. eddiesuave reblogged this from tofuboots
  10. totalfanboi reblogged this from smashedwordbrokenopen and added:
    Exactly how I feel about using she/her/hers pronouns.
  11. smashedwordbrokenopen reblogged this from pinebark
  12. botchbot reblogged this from unbrokencircle
  13. unbrokencircle reblogged this from femmefilth
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  17. caylosm reblogged this from darkcloudtherainbowwarrior and added:
    accumulatedephemera)
  18. darkcloudtherainbowwarrior reblogged this from tofuboots and added:
    This is exactly why I go by males pronouns. It’s hard to explain it to people and this sums it up well.
  19. nicbravo-reblogs reblogged this from oxxenfree
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  21. sprackraptor reblogged this from raggedyanndy
  22. sparklebutch reblogged this from raggedyanndy and added:
    This is how I feel when I use “he” or “they” pronouns.
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k
I'm hoping once I'm a big kid and I look down to the ground it'll seem further away.
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